Pulse checker: GPC considering new ways of shooting itself in the foot

Pulse’s not-entirely-serious take on recent events

The BMA’s GP Committee has set up a working group to consider new ways of pointlessly making life tougher for itself. 

In July, the GPC – which, has been the subject of sexism accusations – removed its first-ever female chair while she was on maternity leave. An initial paper from the GPC, obtained by Pulse Checker, reveals a number of options the committee is proposing to disadvantage itself. 

It states: ‘We could use a pistol, or an air rifle. Our recommended method is to pull the trigger while we are standing, though we could lie down at the point of execution.’

The paper adds that it will be up to GPs to issue the firearms licence to the GPC executive team.

Government promises to train a billion new GPs by 2030

Health secretary Steve Barclay has set out GP recruitment targets of ‘I dunno, a billion?’ new doctors by 2030. 

Following the publication of the NHS workforce plan with yet more unachievable recruitment targets and no strategy details, Mr Barclay doubled down on the commitments.  

When asked by Pulse Checker how many GPs he would ideally like to recruit, Mr Barclay replied: ‘Let’s say, I dunno, a million. No, a billion.’

He added: ‘We won’t be in power for much longer, and nothing happens if we miss our targets anyway.’

Mr Barclay explained that it will be up to ICSs to sort out the logistics of training these new GPs.

A private matter: ‘A GP’s day is a walk in Holland Park’

Dr Marty Scurvy, a private GP in Kensington, west London, says GPs have it easy 

I’m a typical GP, and I can tell you exactly what a normal day is like. I start work about 9ish, for our first patient, who comes in at 10am. We spend an hour discussing their problems, and build a rapport by talking about our holiday homes. 

I then have half an hour to write up the notes over elevenses before my next appointment. I have a busy morning – two more consultations before lunch at The Mall. There are a further two after lunch – not easy after grey leg partridge and a glass or two of Château Lafite Rothschild, I can tell you. But the patients were delightful, and shared investment tips. 

So when I hear my fellow GPs complain, my blood boils (though that might be the goose-fat parsnips). They talk about burnout, health inequalities, dealing with patients who have been let down by public services, feelings of hopelessness that they can’t help people blah blah. All they need to do is charge patients £250 per appointment. If that doesn’t work, they can supplement their income by badmouthing their fellow professionals in the Daily Mail. 

Dr Marty Scurvy is a GP at King’s Gardens Medical Practice. He was paid significantly for this column

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