Every GP in GP Land
Likes Christmas a lot…
But the CQC who lived in La La Land
Did NOT!
**
The CQC hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason
It could be they hate life at the coal face,
It could even be they can’t hack the fast pace,
But I think the most likely reason of all
May be that their heart is two sizes too small.
**
But, whatever the reason,
Their heart or their clinical anxieties
They stood there at Christmas, hating GPs
Staring down from their clipboard with a CQC frown
At the long queue of patients snaking all around town
For they knew every GP as far the eye could see
Would be hanging up mistletoe and decorating the tree
**
With smiles on their faces, healing the ill,
Sometimes with song and sometimes a pill
‘We must find a way to stop this Christmas cheer
And instil a climate of discipline and fear’
**
Then they got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE CQC
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
‘We know just what to do’ as they put on the crown,
‘We’ll show them who’s boss and close them all down’
**
So, they jumped on their sleigh with clipboard in hand
And cruised all the way around GP Land,
With squeals of delight, they marked their red cross,
For now, they were showing who was the boss
**
With fire safety, health and safety, infection control,
These lazy GPs were scoring an own goal,
Town after town, they visited them all,
Until no more practices were left to fall
**
And just when they thought their work here was done,
And they could sit back and enjoy all the fun,
What is that noise in the distance they hear?
But patients chatting and laughing – their deepest fear
**
They have nowhere to sit so they line the streets,
Waiting in anticipation for the GP they’ll meet,
The care they are searching doesn’t fit a protocol,
It’s much deeper than that concerning the soul
**
So, despite the CQC stealing the GPs’ estate
And trying to inject a spoonful of hate,
The patients they came, and they came, and they came,
To them, nothing had changed, it was all the same
**
‘We don’t need a practice that has passed a test,
We don’t even need it to be the best,
All we want is kindness and a listening ear,
So Merry Christmas CQC and a Happy New Year!’
Dr Shaba Nabi is a GP trainer in Bristol. Read more Dr Nabi’s blogs at pulsetoday.co.uk/nabi
